Well here I am about a month until Blash and Brian come and visit. My mom is being a bitch and bitching at me about money and I haven't been able to get a job since i got fired from my last one. So I figure make a good impression on Walgreen's during my clinicals and I can get a job from them and then I'm good. But this woman has to bitch to me about it and I'm like "God damn it I just need clinicals done within the next month and then I'll have a fucking job!" Matt in his infinite lovingness made us tags to block my family's vibes and I'm doing better. I feel better with them up and it's great. I slept so much better with them up and we had some fun. It was quite good. I'll leave it at that. Hmm hmm....anyways...where was I...oh yeah hopefully I'll have job within about 2.5 weeks into clinicals and be able to get paid before art in the park so we have some money to get even just one scrunchie while we're there. It'll be fun.

Many of you know that I have a rare condition called Intracrannial Hypertension. American Express has a contest each year for a non-profit to gain money to further their goals. There is one organization that addresses this rare confusing disorder and they are going for this money but they need votes. Go to this web address to vote for them please so that one day this disorder can be understood and cured. http://www.membersproject.com/project/view/3YF1KS

Well today is my Dad's b-day which means mine isn't far behind. My family is an interesting entity towards birthdays. Sometimes there's this huge build up to them and then a great drop at the end kinda like a roller coaster. The bad ones though are when there is no build up because then on the day there's an explosion usually by my sister. Today however she ditched us all. Ah well. Great part is I get to spend my b-day at a hospital or some lab local with my bitchy mother for her to get a nerve conduction test now this really tough kid says it's not too bad so for someone like me or Matt it wouldn't would be my guess but my cry baby mother on the other hand....I'm expecting an hour and a half drive home of oohs and ahhs and stop hitting every pot hole etc etc etc cause it hurt her back so much. What a birthday. Plus there hasn't been any build up to mine either so far this year so I'm kinda dreading what kind of fight's gonna break out that day. Oh well what can be done?

Deoxys is being distributed this weekend for Pokemon diamond and pearl! Then I can have a deoxys too. SQUEE!!

Poor Matt and me have gotten nothing but hell these last few days. He's moving his family and my family had inspection yesterday and my brat of a sister got to go to the local pool that is also a wave pool and I LOVE those!!! She got to skip cleaning the house got nothing more than a don't do that again after playing my parents against each other by telling one that the other said yes and vice versa. I got stuck scrubbing cabinets that the land lord said weren't and so I just wanted to kill everyone. Today my sister was being a royal bitch about going to the Father's Day lunch for my dad obviously and she got to come and be a royal pain and noone said anything. I get yelled at for a long time and cut off from various things if I don't do things. Yeah life is fair. Well I applied for some jobs here in Sorry Vista to try and get some income so I'm not as dependant but alas it has been for naught so far. rar. I want Matt back but it's another week until I get to get him. Blashy want to get together this Saturday before both Matt and I are banished to nowheres? Remember the first weekend in October you must come down here for Arts in the Parks and to see the Malex and stuffes. You're gonna need to run the Blash-mobile here though. But yeah I should get to studying for that test tomorrow.

Matt and I were thinking to just show up in the valley and call people up and tell them to come over and hang out and go "Surprise we're in the Valley!" but I can't contain it any longer. In less than two weeks we're gonna be back in the Valley. I got a transfer to the Best Buy that is opening near ASU. Currently we are going to be living near the Blash so we are gonna be far far away from everyone but Blash but I can live with that. That just means hitching a ride as the Blash mobile teseracts by our house. Matt and I are packing and getting ready to move back to home. I wanted to wear one of my favorite shirts yesterday and found a large amount of stuff molding. A case of Hawaiian Punch that should have been on the other side of our room had made it's way, ever so mysteriously (most likely Chelsea), to in front of the door into our room. Our theory is that Matt stepped on it once and it leaked and began molding everything around it. There were some losses of good stuff but most of the stuff we cared about was saved. My sexy pants might be victim but they are currently running in the washer for another run. To give you an idea of the magnitude that this has pissed Matt and me off, the shirt that Matt got married to me in was in the list of saved items. Let's just say Chelsea is gonna regret fucking with us. We're not going to hurt her or any living things that would be wrong and cruel, plus we're better than that, but we are going to make it clear not to pull shit with us. But the good news above all else is that Matt and I will be back in the Valley soon enough. Well not soon enough but in a reasonable time frame. So, who wants to come over and help us unload the truck and unpack?

Matt took the Which Clamp Character are You? quiz and here's what he got

You scored as Seishirou. You are like Seishirou Sakurazuka from Tokyo Babylon and X. Um... that's scary. People who do not know you very well may very well think that you are a kind and gentle soul - someone who loves animals and cares about the environment. But really, you probably couldn't care less. Your true nature is that you are a bit obsessive and antisocial. And maybe a bit of a stalker. And all of this would be a bad thing... if you weren't so damn cool. </td> Seishirou 96% Kurogane 83% Yuuko 75% Chii 67% Fai 63% Miyuki-chan 63% Hokuto 58% Watanuki 58% Kero-chan 50% Kamui 50% Sakura 21% Who is your inner CLAMP character? created with QuizFarm.com

KK, wedding went great. It was really nice and I have yet to get the pics developed or off the digital cameras, but when I do....mwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa. Everything has gone normal otherwise. Sister is being a royal pain and I want to kill her. Work is dicking me around. Thankfully the manager with experience will be back and I will get my normal hours after this. I must get Blash down here with his WII so I can try it and so we can see the Blash and all his Blashy glory. My sister's graduation is Friday and I can wait. One, I can't believe she's managing to graduate, but then it is a bullshit charter school so go figure. Two, my parents are nearly gaga over it since she is their golden child and she is graduating second out of...twelve(I think, maybe 10 *chuckle snort*). She just told Matt and I to, once again, leave and basically never come back or else she will. Like that's much of a threat to me but yeah. The drama oh the drama. In other news, Elf, we have a request to aquire your services...eventually but we can plan. Good news, we are going to be back in the valley prolly in 5-9 months. Hopefully sooner. But reallistically no sooner than 6 months from now. At least we might be able to visit when I get my raise for being at work for three months. It will be nice. I've been thinking of selling off some of my crap I have cause I really have way too much crap. I mean seriously I know I'm a pack rat but some of this shit is too much. I have clothes that couldn't possibly fit me anymore from growth in one direction or another. Plus there's so much shit in this house that is over a decade old that there has got to be a bigger pack rat out there that would love it. I'm not talking cool stuff like, I don't know commemoritive plates but broken VCRs. Matt and I had to convince my dad to let us throw away about a dozen VCRs that would never work again cause the heads were rusted tight. I wish I were exagerating (Matt does too, quoteth the Matt, "They were heavy, but then I again I probably could have moved them one at a time if I had pried them apart."). Other than that, it's pretty much normal.

Well the wedding is tomorrow and as per prediction my mother is running around in a near panic. It's kinda amusing. Matt's passed out on the floor still exhausted from my being sick earlier this week. For the first time in my life I had tips put on my nails and I have to say that that is never going to happen again. I had no idea what happened to you nails when that happened and I did not like it one bit. I am OCD about my finger nails and what they did made me squick big and I only survived it promising my OCD it was a once in a lifetime occurance so it can calm down. I originally was going to have them painted dark blue and a silver crescent towards my cuticle put on them but I went in and told them I wanted my nails done and they put tips on before I really understood what was happening. I got assaulted by an old Chinese guy. I am proud that I could tell he was speaking not Japanese and not Korean which from the sounds coming out of his mouth left Chinese...I know that barely cuts it down but baby steps here. So yeah we have the rehearsal tonight at 8 to make sure Blash is here and then tomorrow is the "big" day. I don't know. I see it as another show not really doing anything I mean I know for the people who have never lived together before getting married, as stupid as that seems to me, it's a big thing but Matt and I are not moving after this and I couldn't imagine the stress if we were! I just don't see it as changing anything between the two of us. It's gonna make me family to his family cause it's now official that I'm sticking around I guess. But ah well. Blash is now safely on the road and I can spill the beans about him getting Matt's old computer. My sister got a MSSQL on my rent's puter and it then moved to the router and then to Raven. Raven had to be wiped and then there wasn't a license for the software to control her 3d imaging and she couldn't WOW in full screen mode and Matt can't stand WOW in windowed mode so we fixed her up and are giving her to Blash so he can WOW with us and we can have Blash contact. We're also giving Nick WOW for coming and helping out. Other details will be revealed as time goes on. MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!

I am going to kill my sister I swear. Originally when we were planning the wedding I made it clear that if Chelsea did not behave properly I was going to un-invite her and put her up in a hotel for the night before and of so I wouldn't have to deal with her shit. Here we are a few days before and she comes home and throws a giant fit that she won't get everything to make her graduation perfect because of my wedding. She says that because of my wedding my parents can't afford to do everything for her graduation, never mind that my parents are only paying for their clothes and the reception wheras I'm paying for the dress, Matt's suit, all the favors, and everything else. I paid for the flowers and am not getting any help and during my graduation I paid for a little under half of the expenses from my part part time job from the time. I am sick of her "poor me, poor poor me" act. I am working my butt off to help my parents and literally living in hell and all she can do is bitch and here I am trying to get married to the man of my dreams with the wedding of my dreams and Chelsea is going to destroy it all. I want to get her out of my life and it's not going to happen. I just want her out for just 48 hours not even that 24 hours the day before through when I go to the Windemere for my "honeymoon" night. Why can't anything just go alright for me once in a while.

-Go to IMDb.com and look up 10 TV shows you like(d).
-Post three official IMDb "Plot Keywords" for these 10 picks.
-Have your friends guess the show names (no cheating!)

*1-Food History / Science / Cookery-Good Eats (Carlos)
2-Lost Civilization / Military / Alien
3-Wormhole / Cult TV / Time Travel
4-Babysitting / Housework / New Jersey
5-Builder / Hidden Civilization / Character Name in Title
6-Secret Agent / Babe Scientist / Nanotechnology
7-space opera / apocalyptic / space marine
8-space opera / interracial marriage / anti hero
9-serial killer / black comedy / bittersweet
*10-plastic surgeon / blood / dark humor (Carlos)

Good luck to whoever is going to try.

My family is driving me nuts that I got sick today and am going to work to get away from my house. The wedding is just 5 days away and I am so totally not nervous I think I'm making my mother nervous cause she's being a royal pain. She's yelling at anything that twitches in a way she didn't authorize. Blash will not be down until Friday, most likely, which makes me sad cause I had hopes to go out with him Friday during the day or Thursday to have some fun and go Blashing. Alas spaz-cake-Nick asked good-hearted-Blash to give him a ride to SV and Blash said yes. Nick also has no access to his Chiquita Banana for some odd reason and can't make it himself. He could just admit he doesn't have the balls or lack of brains to ride his bike through Tucson if that is all or the balls to tell us what he did. IDK. I'm sick and babeling and I'm gonna go run Deadmines on my blood elf. PS. Blash-We have surprise for you.

Well, background first I guess. My sister is prolly never ever ever going to get married to anyone so I told my mother that she could throw me a wedding shower if she liked. She is this weekend. I want people I like there but most of you are far far away and couldn't possible make it so I am stuck here playing dumb shower games with a bunch of ladies from the church cause I'm not even going to ask my friends, who are as broke as I am, to try and make the three hour drive here twice in one month. It's too much but I can't help longing to see my friends. In other news I met this really cool girl at work and we're gonna start working out together and stuff. She's really nice and is Hawaiian (I don't know if I spelled that right but LiveJournal likes it so it might actually be). I might have to quit working at Blockbuster since I have a full time job offering from Best Buy and that beats my part time plus they're going to pay me more per hour too. My boss lady is going to see if she can get me a raise and a promotion to keep me and I end up making more than Best Buy offered. IDK what's going to happen but I can't wait for this hell to end with the wedding shower. Hope all of you are doing well and hope to see you soon.

Ok, I have finally decided. I am going to drop from ASU and change to University of Phoenix and get a degree in e-business for Matt and my store. Lots of news in that one sentence, tee hee. Matt and I are planning on starting our own store when we can and for it to be a kind of hybrid store that is both on-line and in store. I have realized that post pseudo tumor me doesn't have a passion for theatre like pre pseudo tumor me did. Matt tells me that pre me liked design not theatre but this is all a matter of opinion. Plus I can do that degree on-line and can be wherever I am needed most and still go to school plus it's one course at a time and if I were starting from scratch it would be 2-3 years so I expect 2 years for me. I am probably going to get hired by Best Buy and they'll help me with tuition too. So, as you can tell, I am still figuring out what all effects the pseudo tumor had on me.

Other News,
My mom told me that her and my Aunt Lynn are going to try and get together to pay for us to have two nights at a local bed and breakfast following the wedding...which shoots Matt and my diabolical scheme to get all the friends at our house along with booze and have everyone stay the night and catch up...oh well...we can plan the diabolical scheme for some other time too. No other real news other than that which has already been mentioned. I hope those that were/are sick get better and wish I could give them a big hug so one over the internet will have to suffice until I see them later. Once I have work settled and set up I Matt and I will prolly plan at least monthly trips to the valley so couches would be most appreciated for those so we don't have to get a hotel unless we have to.

I have done it. I have upgraded my LiveJournal account to a paid account in order to get the butterflies for my journal...I guess I'm gonna have to use this more then huh? Anyways being this far from all of you I will so I can just keep up with you.

As some of you do and do not know Matt and I have decided to make the marriage official. That means wedding, that means wedding dress. Ta dah!!!

I got fitted today for my dress and my mom actually didn't cry. Matt and I have made a lot of progress with her and the water works. She used to cry when we just said the word wedding. The wedding will be April 21 at 2:00 at Immanuel Lutheran Church here in Sierra Vista. We're only really doing it in a church for the families. A few years from now we will be holding the shinto-ish ceremony we wanted originally. This is mostly just for filling out the paper work more than anything else. Get this, Matt's parents might not be coming due to paranoia of police etc. I just don't get that but oh well. When have I ever. Well that's about it about the wedding for now. We have yet to get Matt's suit, we have ordered flowers and a few other things but that's about it for now.

Other things: Matt and I are doing ok here in SV with my parents. The house is hell I mean hell. My father hasn't taken out the garbage, beyond most of the hasmatable stuff, since my mom moved to the valley last July. It's downright scary and disgusting in most areas. I'm working at Blockbuster again to help pay all the bills. Come to find out that my financial supported wasn't really needed but the need for my mom to feel important and like she is needed and have something to do is more necessary than I thought and that has become our purpose of living here, beyond making the house habitable by human beings. We have mostly been working on the wedding with my mother and she is throwing me a wedding shower. That's about it.

Well the semester didn't completely eat me. I survived and managed to maintain my insane GPA to be able to continue through my senior year. Now I just have to deal with all the wonderful drama of being a theatre major. GAH!!! I'm getting really fed up with the drama that people whose profession is drama create. It's so much more than other people's. Even considering my crowd the theatre related drama is sooooo much worse. I'm supposed to do a summer stock over this summer and I don't know if I want to. I mean it would be fun but on the other hand I don't want to be away from Matt. Even if we find a place that isn't dorm the summer stockers in a local dorm, I'm not sure I want to do the 120 hour weeks. I'm really starting to doubt that I want to go into this business. I mean don't get me wrong I love theatre so much but with all the crap that goes on with everything that I really don't think I'm cut out to do this. I wonder what I AM cut out to do then. I went into theatre thinking I would fit there and it keeps seeming that I don't. Matt says I have what it takes but my professors and shit keep talking about how I need to make connections and need to get my portfolio amazing and how I need to take nothing but theatre classes and how I need to focus on becoming the next amazing designer and crap. It's just starting to piss me off and depress me a lot. I'm three semesters from graduation and I am sitting here wondering if I'm setting myself up for what I want or if I want to change completely and no idea to what. All those at school keep making it sound that Matt is a liability that I should get rid of because he is going to hold me back from becoming the next most sought after designer and I know above all else that course is NOT what I need to do. There's just so many voices I can't hear my own through the din. I can't hear me and I feel so lost from it because I used to listen to it so closely and follow what it said so that i stayed happy and on my path. School has provided me with too many voices to filter so I can hear my little voice telling me where I should step. I'm just so frustrated right now and I can't even really understand or say what it is that I am so frustrated with.

On a completely different note:
For those that I haven't talked to for so long I'm sorry. School was really hard for me this semester and I barely got that done with me intact. Next semester is looking better though so I should be able to do more and not die. Matt and I got our first co-owned forever blankey for Christmas from his parents. There's not much to report actually. I'm getting better slowly but surely still and the main focus over the rest of break and the beginning of the semester is getting my stamina back. I have a pretty light semester ahead again and I have a design class so I shouldn't go so stir crazy in my own skull from creative back-up. So despite my depressed swing, the immediate future looks pretty good.

Matt and I have finally moved out of the hell hole that was his parent's house just in time for them to move to a worse place in Mesa. We now live in dreaded Scottsdale, yuck, with my mom. Good thing is my mother can outsmart our cat, we have our own room, and there isn't 7 people sharing a 5 people space. So all in all a good thing. I am, however, not with internet until we buy a modem on Friday. My laptop is pretty much dead, she can't create a restore point anymore and won't finish shutting down on her own. I think it is time to let Bellea rest and continue on without her. Our car started knocking while we were driving to my neurologist appointment yesterday and is currently parked at Cracker Barrel. No idea when it will get to be moved though. My credit is good enough that I think I might want to just go and get a loan for a car and have Matt and me bust our asses to make payments and such. My grandfather is in the hospital for many things, too many to remember. So that's always fun. I have a gig next week and then the following Monday. 4 hours twice at 9.90 an hour is not bad at all if you ask me. So Matt and I should be able to pay bills etc. for July and get a bite out of August. Feels nice to be able to say that. I knew Karma wouldn't let me just move out without making me pay some way. I'm finally getting to read the next book in one of my series of books that I follow. I still have another sitting on my shelf but I need to re-read the first one before tackling that one. I know that the last one will come out before I finally get to read it. It's bound to happen. I finish my horrendous class this week and I've been feeling better so YAY!!! That's about all that I'm allowed to talk about here. Be back in a few days.